June is Guest Blogger Month here at FeministaJones.Com . I solicited a few bloggers, writers, poets, etc to contribute posts lending their perspectives and experiences on feminism, race, mental health, sexuality, relationships, liberation, sex, and everything this blog is about. I hope you enjoy their contributions as much as I have. If you’re interested in being featured, please submit your pitches to firstname.lastname@example.org
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I write my truth and that I’m not sorry for, I simply want you to know where I’m coming from and if you vibe with me, that you’re not alone. It’s safe here. No judgment. No criticism.
I’ve been there and I’m still here…
On the publicity wave of the Super Bowl Half-Time show craze, Beyoncé spoke openly on her miscarriage.
There are no rights pertaining to nature. There are no debates, corporate policies or funding dollars involved when a woman miscarries. Usually there’s silence; usually a cry she weeps in her soul. Of what was and that is no more.
My condolences to her and to all who’ve been there. My cheers to trying again, be it nervous fearing a barren womb. Undaunted. Some are childless by default. Others by choice. One is no less valid than the other. Both deserving of respect.
A woman wrote me on her views of birth control and the heated debate. I replied with my personal stance that I don’t usually blog with, again, this was one-on -one.
So as we get deeper into our dialogue, I ask if she’s a mother. After two paragraphs of her dancing around the bushes, she says No.
She aborted every pregnancy.
I blinked twice.
Reading our conversation again. Paused. When I wrote the piece, I didn’t blatantly mention abortion, instead opting to use ‘choices’… She wanted her story told from another’s mouth. She wants her pain healed from another’s wounds. That’s not how it works. I write and I wrote about choices because I feel we deserve to be able to make them for ourselves and to be accountable for those decisions. They are painful. They are difficult. They are ours to own.
There are two sides to this coin.
This mothering piece.
Some women had the opportunity to mother and for reasons of their own, decided to abort. I stand firm on these women maintaining this right. With women who’ve lost life from their core, we mustn’t be insensitive. We can’t judge a woman’s choice by life’s circumstance. Choosing to bring forth life, or losing that life, are both difficult to deal with the days after.
We, as women, must support each other in such a way that our tears aren’t so hidden. That our cries aren’t muffled by regret, fault, and disgrace.
There will be more discussion of miscarriage now that it’s on the lips of a global star. My hope is that there is more support. No one glorifies abortion, but I hope there’s at least an understanding coupled with support for that result as well.
To my readers, to my best friends, to my reflection, I offer a hug. An understanding. A tear and a prayer. Life and its wondrous turns is a journey.
We’re not alone.
Not if I have anything to say!
*Originally posted here, reprinted with permission*
A. Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with an empowering perspective. In Minnesota by way of Chicago, she’s one sixth of the blogging troupe Six Brown Chicks as seen on OWN. Her new post launches on Wednesdays at SixBrownChicks.com and acomeaux.com for her TV/Film, Blogs, and personal tidings.