Hey Feminista! 
I found your site about a month ago through a retweet on twitter and I’ve been following you ever since. I think I’ve even been through all of your posts. I love it! 
Now, I have a question. I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 13 y.o, I am now 25 years of age. Throughout that time we’ve only split once and that was 2 yrs ago. A year ago I met someone and became sexually active with him. Which leads to this question: how do I persuade my boyfriend (first love, yes we are back together) to let me give him head? I once tried and he stopped me, but its something I like to do now.. The other dude taught me & I like doing it. I am in no way a pro, but, I like giving head 🙂 so sis, how do I persuade my man to let me give him head?

A lil about him. He’s Jamaican and most Jamaican guys do not give head and even though they don’t mind it, they do not want their ‘lady’ to perform such act, they prefer it to be some chick on the side that does that, but my thing is why do that with a chick on the side when wifey at home is willing to do it all? Oh FB please offer some guidance.

Thanks in advance.


Thank you for writing in and supporting the site!

Ok, so first things first… you had a boyfriend at 13? Oh. Yeah, I have issues with that, especially because you’re still together. You split two years ago and I’m assuming you just got back together or got back after you met the other dude? No one at 13 knows anything about boyfriend/girlfriend anything. No one. You’re still together for convenience, IMO. I’m sure you love each other…maybe. But, being “together” since before you were any age of real consent is troubling. How early were yall having sex? How old is he? I’m concerned more about the nature of your relationship than these sex issues.

But since you’re not asking about that…

I’ve fucked enough head-loving Jamaican men to know that they exist and that “lady” crap he is holding onto is just that… bullshit. If he isn’t letting you suck his dick, he has a chic on the side doing it. Yup. Believe that.

You need to have a real conversation about this. You need to assert yourself and tell him that just because you love having his dick in your mouth, it doesn’t mean you’re any less a lady or dirty or anything. Tell him that if he truly cares about you, he will be willing to let you do things sexually that you enjoy, especially if he benefits from them.

Probe him a bit… his hang-ups might not be cultural, but maybe based on some negative experience of some type. Then, if all else fails, wake him up to it. Catch him on the sneak attack… most dudes love waking up to their dicks in women’s mouths. Practice your skills with a banana and work on your gag reflex with the help of my instructional video. Maybe it would help him to be blind-folded if you did it?

If all else fails and he REALLY doesn’t want you to do it, you’re going to have to take the L and try not to indulge in your dick-sucking fetish with a side dude.



3 thoughts on “Ask Feminista: He Won’t Let Me Give Him Head”

  1. Ehh, some of us guys just really don’t enjoy it. I’m not quite that far on the spectrum, but I’m pretty ambivalent to it after about 30 seconds. It might be because I’ve never had “great” head, but meh. I wouldn’t feel like I was missing out in life if I was never given it again.

  2. Hey FJ! Thanks for your advice sis, appreciate it.

    First lemme answer some of your questions. Yes, I met him at the age of 13, he was 14 at the time (I’m 25 now). We didn’t immediately become intimate with each other, we waited for 3 yrs but in that time we did kiss and the occasional ‘rubbing’ if you wanna call it that…Again, no penetration till I was 16.
    I know its not often that you hear stories of people staying with their first love but it does happen, and we are NOT together for convenience, we are truly in love and plan on getting married next summer.

    As far as him and head goes, he has had it done to him before and he says he’s not a fan of it. If he’s lying, I do not know. Is some chick giving him head on the side? i would hope not! Since we are together and love each other, I have to believe him right? no sense in thinking he’s lying, where would the trust be? so i’ll just disregard your statement about him having some chick on the side do it. Will take your advice & talk to him some more and I’ll keep you posted.

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