F.R.E.A.K. Series [Pt. 1]: “Find Your Freak”

I’ve decided to do a series of posts all related to the corny acronym I created out of the word “FREAK”:

Feminine Revelation (in) Eroticism And Kink.

Ha! You like it. Admit it. *cheese* (I’m clearly getting my Rev Run on)

These posts will be focused primarily on all things related to women becoming more in touch and expressive of their inner freaks and men becoming more accepting and appreciative of those efforts. Let us start at the beginning.

What is a “Freak”?


Definition of FREAK
1
a : a sudden and odd or seemingly pointless idea or turn of the mind
b : a seemingly capricious action or event
2 archaic : a whimsical quality or disposition
3 one that is markedly unusual or abnormal: as:
a : a person or animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus sideshow
b slang (1) : a sexual deviate (2) : a person who uses an illicit drug
c : hippie
4. a : an ardent enthusiast <film freaks>
b : a person who is obsessed with something <a controlfreak>

How interesting are these definitions of the word “freak”?
Odd.  Pointless.  Unusual.  Abnormal.  Enthusiastic.  Obsessed.

The one most of us are familiar with, as it relates to the contents of this blog, are the slang definition: A Sexual Deviate. I looked up “deviate” the noun and it is one that deviates from a norm; especially : a person who differs markedly from a group norm.

I want to pick apart this ideal of normalcy for a bit. What is “normal”, as related to what we discuss here? I will save everyone the paragraph about religious morality and piety dictating the social norms regarding sexuality and sexual behavior. I’ll save you the blabbering about male patriarchy constructing the expectations and placing the limitations on female sexuality and sexual expression. I hope that you are already well-aware of how we’ve all come to the place where we understand certain things about how women are expected to behave and carry themselves in order to be considered respectable “ladies”, yes? Great.

So here we are, in the 21st century, at a time when most women are not considered property of their fathers or husbands (Gen 3:16, Exodus 21:7, et. al). Most women understand the freedom that comes with being able to make their own decisions regarding love, relationships, sex, marriage, etc. Yet for some reason, many of us are still confined to small boxes where we don’t allow ourselves enough room to truly explore and honestly express out innermost curiosities and desires. We consider this being normal and we uphold it as a good thing.

Why? Why do we insist upon maintaining the status quo? Why do we find ourselves limited by the impact of social perception? Why do we allow what other might think so deeply affect the decisions we make regarding our personal expression? Why is normalcy something so many strive towards? Why are people so afraid of being “different”? Why do we ostracize and criticize “different” and “other”?

Because that is how it has always been and many of us believe that is how it will always be. Don’t get me wrong, there are still many “things” in place that provide evidence to support our fears/concerns. There are still men who swear off serious commitment to women the sleep with on the first date. There are still men who form negative opinions about women who “give it up” too easy, as if “it” is something they have the right to decide when “it” should be “given up”. What does “given up” mean anyway? Why is a woman “giving” something rather than simply experiencing it”? I have questions… There are still men who place their wives on pedestals and save their most wanton carnal activities for women they would never marry. I will explore this in the next part of the F.R.E.A.K. series.

As much as men uphold these archaic, oppressive, ridiculous ideas of female sexuality and sexual expression, the ones most responsible for the perpetuation of this way of thinking are us. We are the ones who cater to their notions of how we should behave. We are the ones who uphold their silly qualifications of what makes a woman a “lady” versus a “whore” or a “slut” or a “freak”. We even chastise other women and point fingers, seeking to elevate ourselves with claims of “I’d never do that!” or “What kind of woman does that?!” We let ourselves down and sell ourselves short because, in the end, almost all of us have the same goal. We want to settle down with a good man and live a long happy life together.

So we suppress the “freak”, ignore the “freak”, reject the “freak” all for the sake of appearing more appealing to men in a long-term kind of way. Some of us do so to our own detriment, signing up for lives full of boring lackluster sex. We do it to fit in, to not be criticized, to be thought of as… normal.

Not me. Can’t do it. Neither should you.

Ladies, it is time to

Find Your F.R.E.A.K

Femininity is a key part of Knob-Slobbing Feminism. I have always maintained that femininity and masculinity are salient concepts and should be dictated by no one other than the individual embracing one or the other (or both). I do not subscribe to social mandates regarding the expression of femininity or masculinity, but maybe you do. All I will say, to this end, is that women ought to discover and define their own sense of femininity and embrace it. Let it empower you. Maybe you don’t wear skirts every day (or ever). Maybe you can’t walk in heels. Maybe you don’t have large breasts or a large ass. Maybe you hate wearing make up. Does this make you any less feminine than the woman who does? No. Embrace your Femininity and make it work for you.

Revelation is a key part of F.R.E.A.K. It has two meanings here. First is the reveal. In order to embrace it, you must reveal it. You must know it, recognize it, and understand it. This means giving in to those thoughts you’ve had tucked away, seeking answers for those lingering questions, having more conversations with yourself, friends, lovers about things you didn’t dare discuss before, etc. It means throwing caution to the wind, removing the barriers, and allowing things to flow forth. The second meaning is the enjoyment. Revel in what you discover about yourself. Embrace it, encourage it to grow, explore it, do whatever you must to enjoy all of the wonderful things you discover about yourself and your sexuality.

Eroticism and Kink are pretty self-explanatory. I feel there are two sides to sexual expression. Eroticism is the sensual, suggestive, alluring, teasing side that gives a little and takes it right back. Kink is the raw, animalistic, gratuitous, bold side that is no holds barred. These sides work together, occasionally overlapping, occasionally dominating, to create the unique balance for each woman’s sexual expression. Every woman has a different balance and these levels can shift according to variables such as age, culture, upbringing, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, etc.

If every woman could find her F.R.E.A.K., empowerment would abound. There would be a united effort to tear down these limitations on our sexuality that could not be suppressed. We would all feel freer to simply be who we are at our cores. This isn’t to say that every woman would be out there sucking every dick she comes across. No, that’s not what this means. It means that every woman would feel free to make her own decisions about what she does with her body, with whom, and how often, how soon, etc.

Feminism is about female empowerment and equality. There would be no Knob-Slobbing Feminism without that very idea at the core. I don’t ever want my readers to lose sight of that.

Peace,

FJ

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12 Responses to “F.R.E.A.K. Series [Pt. 1]: “Find Your Freak””

  1. GE says:

    “So we suppress the “freak”, ignore the “freak”, reject the “freak” all for the sake of appearing more appealing to men in a long-term kind of way” Very true and then the men will always find someone else to freak.

    • KSFem says:

      I think it is interesting, how you say that, because many women feel that they are somehow at fault when men wander off to find someone else to get “freaky” with. If a man leaves a woman because he isn’t being sexually fulfilled, that is his choice. However, when a man cheats on a woman for that reason, that is a PROBLEM and the problem isn’t with the woman, it is with the man. Cheating is never the answer nor is being sexually unfulfilled an excuse for cheating, in my opinion. If you’re not being satisfied, either work on it or leave. I don’t think men should try to have it both ways by engaging in deceptive tactics. Feel me? Thank you for your comment :)

  2. ~Saki~ says:

    Great start to the series…I remember the ‘revelation’ when it happened to me…*whew*. Looking forward to the next post in the series!

    ((HUGS))

    ~Saki~

  3. Mr. Cunning Linguist says:

    Bravo…

    Well Said…

    And if a man trys to work on a woman’s freak, and the woman doesnt want to…A man will LEAVE and go find him a freak…

    Sometimes they will stay and teach…but seriously women need to read this. PERIOD

    Smile

  4. LT says:

    Yet for some reason, many of us are still confined to small boxes where we don’t allow ourselves enough room to truly explore and honestly express out innermost curiosities and desires. We consider this being normal and we uphold it as a good thing.

    This passage hits me most. I live in a box. I placed myself in this box due to religion & my own preconceived notions of morality. That has hindered me from being “sexually liberated”. I want to be open in my sexual expression, but I’m too shy. I’ve always been afraid of what others would say about me if I were express my true feelings. I suppress my feeling & my thoughts because it upholds my “nice girl” image.

    In reality, I think about sex a lot. I’m horny all the time, but I do nothing about it. I have a vibrator that I don’t use because it’s too noisy & I don’t want my neighbor to know that I’m masturbating. That makes me sad because I feel oppressed.

    The men that I’ve dated, have told me that I’m “too nice” & they can’t imagine me being a “freak”. I performed oral sex on a man & he couldn’t look me in my eyes afterward. He said that I ruined his “good girl” view of me. He never talked to me again. That was devastating to me.

    I envy your openness. I’m 31 & I’ve yet to experience freedom w/o shame. I want that. I NEED that. I just don’t know how to release myself from this self-made prison. It’s maddening.

    • KSFem says:

      Thank you for you comment and I hope you keep coming back :)

      You’re not alone.

      What you have expressed is what SO many women experience. First, you have to stop blaming yourself. As you said, religion has had a big influence on you. Most people never chose their religion… it was passed to them from their parents. If that is your case, you really didn’t have a choice in that matter.

      Being shy is a personality trait that doesnt have to be the opposite of being sexually liberated. You dont have to put all your business on front street. You could be a very private person… who happens to be a freak! I can bet that your shyness affects other parts of your life too, so that’s just something you’d have to work on as a whole.

      Your comment about the men telling you that you are too nice is exactly what I talked about in the follow-up post. There is a level of immaturity and insecurity there when men say things like that.

      The man not talking to you again? That was HIS problem!! He probably LOVED you sucking his dick, didnt he? He needed to work that out with himself, not you. And YOU need to look at it like “Well… fuck him!!! Fuck him if he cant handle getting some bomb ass head!!”

      I feel so deeply for women like you who are imprisoned by shame. It makes me angry!!!

      Stick around, maybe I can help ;)

  5. Kellz says:

    If a man truly respects you, then being his private freak should be no big deal. As women, we struggle because we are conditioned to be “good girls,” but I think at the end of the day, many men love the idea of having a “lady in the streets, and a freak in the bed.” It’s like having the best of both worlds. There is nothing to ashamed of. I have recently begun to accept that more “expressive” side of me and there has been some freedom in doing it. As a highly sexual female, why must I feel ashamed for doing what turns me on? My guy likes it and we enjoy each other to the fullest. I hope that more women would read this and feel empowered by it. We have no reason to feel ashamed.

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