Couples Sex Agreement: Survey (Participation Sought)

April 26th, 2013

Feminista Jones

Hey guys!!

I took this VERY quick survey and contributed my thoughts. They really need more people, particular men and women of color, to give their anonymous answers! It can really help with HIV prevention research, so do your part!

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The Couples Sex Agreement survey, conducted by the Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University, is one of the first of its kind designed for researchers looking for effective new programs to reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases among heterosexual couples. The goals of the survey are to understand relationship patterns among heterosexual couples and what types of agreements they have about sex with partners outside the relationship. The survey is also designed to assess interest in counseling and testing for STDs, including HIV, as a couple.

Participants of color are strongly encouraged to participate

http://emorysurvey.CouplesSexAgreement.sgizmo.com/s3/

#TalkLikeSex When Kids Kill the Groove via @Ebonymag

April 18th, 2013

Feminista Jones

You wake up to the feeling of her fingers tantalizingly tracing your chest muscles, then your abs… then they’re moving lower. Even with your eyes closed, you can tell she’s ready to get something started, and you do not oppose. It’s been a long week, and you want nothing more than to start your Sunday morning the way God truly intended. She climbs atop of you and you look up into her eyes, the passion apparent. It’s about to go down! Then…

*knock knock* “MOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!”

Through the closed bedroom door, you hear the demanding yell of a small child who wants his mother and some grits. You’re trying to get deep into Mommy, and he’s not interested in anything else but getting some grits and bacon deep in his stomach. In that split second, both of you try to remember if you locked the door. Upon realizing you didn’t, she’s grabbing sheets to cover herself and rolls off of you, leaving you alone pitching a tent just as the son you loved sooo much more 15 minutes ago turns the knob, runs into the room and jumps on the bed. You grab a pillow, accept defeat and look at the woman you love as she gets up and makes her way to the kitchen to make you both grits and turkey bacon. Damn.

Blacks And The Madonna/Whore Complex via @EbonyMag

April 18th, 2013

Feminista Jones

In 1991, hip-hop trio Salt-N-Pepa released “Let’s Talk About Sex.” In a male-dominated genre, they dared to assert themselves as sexually liberated women and demanded that we talk about sex, openly and honestly, to foster communication and make for a safer, more pleasurable experience. “Let’s Talk About Sex” was heralded as a song that shaped rock-and-roll music and paved the way for one of the largest HIV/AIDS awareness campaigns in the Black/hip-hop community. Still, there was backlash, and as they lyrically predicted, some radio stations wouldn’t play the song because it was too “taboo.” Why? Well, they talked about sex.

The idea of women being open about their sexual desires and behavior continues to make people uncomfortable, and women are often castigated for asserting themselves as being in control of their bodies and sexuality. In the Black community especially, this idea that a woman should be a “lady” in the streets and a “freak” in the sheets is pervasive, and I wonder if it harms us more than it helps.

“How To Make Yourself An Expert” on @swhelpercom

April 8th, 2013

Feminista Jones

I was profiled for Social Work Helper, a professional networking community for social workers, in a recent article on making oneself an expert

I was honored to be featured. Thank you Deona Hooper, MSW for the piece

#TalkLikeSex “What Our Taboo Sex Says About Us” on @EBONYMag

April 6th, 2013

Feminista Jones

“Ooooh, that’s nasty!!” “That’s that stuff only White people do!” “That ain’t normal! Who does that?” I’ve heard expressions like these, more often than I’m comfortable with, from Black folks when discussing the edgier side of sex. I’ve spent a great deal of time engaging Black people in discussions around sex and sexuality, and to be honest, sometimes it seems as though the Black community is among the most sexually conservative group of people in society.

A quick survey on Twitter resulted in people identifying BDSM, anal sex and open relationships/swinging as what we collectively think of as the top taboo sexual behaviors. There are a few explanations about why we tend to err on the side of conservatism, however, and we ought to think about how much of it is truly about not liking a particular sex act versus not wanting people to know that we like it. With that, there’s also the fear of being judged based on what others think our sexual proclivities represent or say about us as individuals.