S2: E7 @InsecureHBO: No Judgments But…

Check out my recaps of Season 2:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episodes 5 & 6

OK, episode 7 was a doozy, wasn’t it?

Molly & Dro: It Isn’t All Out in the Open, Eh?

Let’s discuss how I said Molly was going to get caught up and be unable to handle this fling with Dro; she doesn’t even know if his wife knows about what they’re doing! Now, there are all sorts of open relationship dynamics, and some include not having to inform your partner the specifics of what you’re doing with others. In this episode, it seems more and more like Dro isn’t spilling the beans about getting it in with his best friend.

When he and Molly snuck in the bathroom and had sex during Tiffany and Derek’s dinner party, Dro asked Molly to wait before coming out. Either he is trying to protect their arrangement from the others in the room or he isn’t being 100% honest about the goings down. This concerns me because if he isn’t, this could be an instance where he is being a shiftless asshole trying to have his cake(s) and eat them too. Thankfully, we saw Molly exhibit some self-care and restraint at the end when she told Dro she couldn’t do it anymore. It’s just too much for her to handle and I’m glad she recognizes it now and not after she’s pregnant with his baby, cuz you know they didn’t use any condoms.

Dro been wanting that nana since who knows how long and that was clear from their first interaction on the show. I knew they were going to head down some path where the two of them got intimate, but I didn’t think it would be such a clumsy handling of open relationships. I’m just glad Molly caught herself and seems to be sparing herself a whole bunch of heartache.

Issa and Lawrence– What In The World??

This is where I think we get the show’s title from because all I saw were big displays of insecurity and emotional immaturity. It’s a petty I can relate to. Been there, done that. Lawrence gives us a hint of vulnerability when he admits he blocked Issa on Facebook because he couldn’t handle seeing her in pictures with Daniel. Ok, but she wasn’t posting them, and she said that, which signaled to me that she was at least aware of his ego feelings and wanted to spare him the hurt. Because she loves him. Because she wants to get back with him. Because she is finally realizing that even though you love someone and want to be with them, they have to show you SOMEthing that makes being with them make sense.

Lawrence doesn’t make sense.

His girlfriend held him down during unemployment, depression, and low self-esteem. She tried to be supportive of his ideas, even knowing they are wack. She tried to push him to do more and be more, to try harder– isn’t that what so many men claim they want? A woman who “builds them up” and “supports them through hard times”? Women know this is nonsense, but rock with it anyway. He segued into Tasha’s house because he needed a comfortable place to land after the turbulence of his ride with Issa. He was willing to subject her to his brokenness just to have a warm pussy, food, and bed at his disposal. This is nonsensical, practically, but we know that it’s REAL and this kind of thing happens all of the time, for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations.

(Anyone notice how his casual encounters so far are all with non-Black women? Is he making a conscious decision to NOT inflict his nonsense onto anymore sistas or…?)

What women know happens all too often is that women bear the emotional burden of “carrying” a man/relationship while he gets his life together and then the relationship ends and he’s suddenly Mr. Perfect for the next woman. Some women spend years, shed tears, and poorly manage their fears to be ride-or-die with a man who is struggling in so many ways, and when it ends, he thanks them by saying “You helped me be a better man…but I’mma go be a better man with this woman over here”.

Why do they leave?

Some don’t want to have to look at their partners over and over, knowing the hurt they caused, knowing how the seeds of distrust have been sowed, and understanding that broken hearts can never be made whole again. They know that even though they’re “good men” now, women are still carrying the damage, the baggage they dumped onto them. And I’ve spoken to a few brothers who say they begin to feel resentment towards women who forgive them over and over and accept their “aintshitness”, even as they beg women to accept them and their ainshitness. “What kind of woman forgives a man for cheating and takes him back?” they may ask in the backs of their minds, convincing themselves that no “good” woman would acquiesce in such a way, even though they know they caused the damage. I even had one brother say he was waiting for the woman who wouldn’t let him cheat. Again, placing the emotional burden and labor of keeping the relationship together on the woman.

For Issa and Lawrence, it seems as though he expected her to carry them both, emotionally, financially, and however other way he could get out of having to do the heavy lifting. And for a while, she did, but her resentment towards him grew and instead of going through fully with the breakup, she ended up cheating on him. And for THAT, she is permanently a “ho” to Lawrence (we’ve already talked about how this show approaches “ho”, but whatevs). His ego is bruised, which is why he came back for the quick fuck that one time; he had to prove that he still had access to his pussy and that he could still handle her (though his strokes with Issa were soooo corny, no wonder she left!).

Issa doesn’t make sense.

Issa’s insecurity is beginning to manifest in her “hotation”. She isn’t cut out for this; this isn’t who she is, despite her best efforts. How close is she with Tiffany and Derek that she couldn’t excuse herself when she found out Lawrence was going to be there? I mean, I’m not advocating that you should ghost yourself in these situations, but if you can’t handle it emotionally? Take a pass. It’s not worth the strain and setback to make an appearance, especially if you’re going to get drunk and embarrass yourself by throwing cheap shots at your ex and his companion. Or, if you’re going to honor your RSVP and support your friends, gather everything you have in you and be the bigger person. Ignore your ex and go!

Arguing in the street? What is really going on with these two? Was it the alcohol? I just found it all ridiculous because these two are huge messes and they’re still sorting out their individual identities. I don’t think either of them should be in any kind of relationship right now or any time soon.

Lawrence has to work on developing better apps and Issa needs to get a side hustle so she doesn’t have to leave the tags on her dresses.

XOXO,

 

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