S2: E6 @insecurehbo: Let’s Get Things Out in the Open

Check out my recaps of Season 2:
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

(I skipped E5’s recap so I can combine them a bit here)

“Hoetation”

That seems to be the word Molly and Issa want to use to describe Issa’s plunge into enjoying her newfound independence and dating freedom. She’s having sex with multiple people and developing a roster of men upon whom she can call when she wants to hang out or have sex. That is, according to them, some kind of “hoe” activities.

Hoes don’t exist. (<—read that)

We’ve already gone over this. (<—read that too)

Even jokingly, we continue to uphold the idea that somehow, a woman enjoying sex outside of the confines of a long-term committed relationship is doing something wrong. It’s seen as a bold idea to go ahead and have sex when she wants to have sex and with whomever she wishes to have it. It’s courageous to be open about the fact that she has sex with people to whom she isn’t married or with whom she isn’t seriously involved. We’ve found ways to make “hoe is life” a subversive tagline when, truthfully, it continues to uphold the idea that women having sex when, how, and with whom they choose is a bad thing.

A bad thing that we should feel ok embracing and repping.

Blah.

As awkward as Issa continues to be, she has moments when she displays the kind of bravado we want to believe is authentic and even empowering. I really loved when she took control with Daniel and aggressively went down on him; I’d like to see her be as aggressive in her decision-making when it comes to the men in her life or with what she wants out of life, for that matter. I want her to accept that she has the right to be bold and live her best life without caveats or apologies or excuses.

However, as exemplified when she tripped extra hard over Daniel cumming in her face, I just don’t think she’s ready to handle what comes with really being about that “hoe” life. She needs to be more upfront about what she wants and get on the same page with her partners, because she seems to be disconnected from each of them in really odd ways that could be resolved with more real conversations. (I’ll give her a pass because he came in her eye and that shit can blind you, real talk. Been there, done that. Ouch.)

Black Folks and Open Relationships

I still cringe at how clumsily these relationship dynamics are handled in TV shows and movies. It’s as if there aren’t a plethora of people actively and successfully living out these relationships who can be called on to consult and provide nuance to this much-needed discussion. It’s almost like there aren’t any knowledgable “experts” who have written nuanced, feminist-leaning works on how to navigate open relationships. It’s almost like grown adults are still stumbling over 12-year-old giggly sneak peeks at the scrambled Spice channel in their grandma’s basements.

I’m very curious about Molly being involved as an extra in her best friend’s open relationship. That’s not often how it works (see: clumsy commentary above). I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’m wary of this kind of set-up because it suggests that at least once person (Dro) was holding onto non-platonic feelings that they weren’t being honest about prior to this kind of engagement. That complicates things. I am interested in seeing where this goes, though, because I see her engaging in this new “relationship” in a reactionary way, hurt by learning of her father’s affair outside of her parents’ marriage. In some way, it was a release for her and an excuse to “go for hers”, and I don’t agree with that being a motivation for getting involved in this kind of dynamic. I also think it can become problematic for Dro and his wife, especially when we don’t know the level of awareness of what’s going on, if she gave a blank check for his actions, etc.

Let’s see where this goes. I can already see Molly getting caught up and becoming jealous of Dro’s #1. She doesn’t seem like the type to settle for #2, so maybe she can find a way to keep it light and sexy and enjoy access to that good dick her friend has been holding out on.

Lawrence is Corny

I just don’t know what else to say.

I don’t dislike him. I just think he’s wild corny.

Until next time!

XOXO,

 

 

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