Check out my recaps of Season 2:
Episode 1
Episode 2

Another episode and another guy Issa is having sex with without a condom. This is the third guy so far, if I’m keeping correct count. Awesome.

Suspending annoyance (because I really hope this becomes part of the plot and she has to deal with a pregnancy or STD/STI or something) and carrying on…

I support getting some Recovery Dick (RD) if your pussy is aching, quaking, and craving it. RD can be an important step in satisfying urges that might make you fall back into a bad situation (you left for a reason, didn’t you?). If you’re hungry for sex and horny beyond anything that can be quenched with your favorite sex toy, RD might come in handy. And there’s no shame in getting it how you live.

These days, dating apps exist to help people connect with other people they may not run into at the local bar or at a bus stop by serendipitous happenstance. Dating apps, the glorious sexual swapmeets that they are, can definitely help you boost your roster so you can rotate people in and out without committing too much time and energy to any one person. You’re in recovery; you don’t need that stress.

You gotta be smart, though.

Tell your peoples where you’re going and with whom. Sure, he may be using a fake name, picture, and profile information, but screen shoot it and send it to the group chat. Tell them time and place where you two will be meeting. Send that text when you get there and as you’re moving onto the after party. Better safe than sorry with these wackadoos roaming around.

Use protection. Seriously. Don’t be like Issa and just slip and slide onto any discounted dick from the clearance rack. Carry your own condoms and insist that your partner uses them or it isn’t going down. If Rodney Wildedick insists upon sliding into you raw, you best believe he just hit Keisha, Kima, and Pam raw dog too, and probably within the last month.

Talk about STD/Is, pregnancy, and consent. When you put it out there proactively, you can change the course of the evening. It might deter your would-be partner, but if discussing those things is a deterrent, I’m pretty sure ole boy’s internet search history includes “How to eat peanut butter out of belly buttons” and “Can you still call them midgets if discussing midget porn”. Hard pass. You need to know where he stands on these things because while protection is vital, nothing is 100%. Do you wanna spend the next 18+ years making decisions about your child’s future with him? Hmm.

Find out some information about him. You don’t need to know his blood type, but finding out where he lives, works, and if he has kids is helpful. If he is leery about disclosing this information, you should be leery about wasting your good panties on him.

Keep your head in the game. He is not your ex so don’t try to make him a duplicate. Don’t read into things that aren’t there. Avoid making him your superman. He is stunt dick. Act accordingly.

Did I mention that you should use protection?

If you’re really caught up in the aftermath of a shitty break-up, perhaps you need to just pause on riding the next pole. Be honest with yourself about what your immediate needs are and whether or not you have the physical and emotional fortitude to engage in dick roulette– it ain’t for everybody. If you’re GOOD, the be GOOD, and stick with the plan. Keep it light. Keep it cute. And remember that you are in control of what happens next.

And no, it ain’t your ex’s business what you do, should you reconnect and discuss the possibility of getting back together.

XOXO,