So, since we’re in the midst of the holidays, I thought I’d touch on this subject: Special Occasion Slobbing.

I was at a Christmas dinner party and chatting with some ladies about this site and some of my theories. Admittedly, these ladies were more on the sexually conservative side, but compared to me, everyone is conservative. *bats eyelashes*

We’re talking and one sista said that knob-slobbing is a rare, special occasion thing for her, limited to birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. She was serious, too. She’s been with her man forever.


How does this happen? Women who don’t suck dick are like VCRs or L.A. Gear sneakers… you’re like “They still make you??”

How does a couple sustain a healthy relationship when the man is only getting his knob slobbed 2-3 times a year?

I have some theories, but my response was: “There isn’t a sexually active man alive who isn’t getting his dick-sucked regularly”. Now, whether or not he is getting it sucked at home is up for debate, but when a woman says she doesn’t suck dick or she doesn’t do it often, there is a part of my knob-slobbing soul the cries real cum-laden tears!!

***Editor’s Note: A commenter brought up the fact that some men don’t like it. While I struggle with believing that they are a collective group of more than 10 men on this earth, I have to acknowledge that SOME men just don’t like it. That is fair, and honest, and real. There are some men who don’t need it and don’t feel their women have to do it. This is REAL, despite my utter shock. I failed to acknowledge that when initially posting.***

You poor men! You poor, poor men!! I’d like to apologize on behalf of the members of my species who are opposed to knob-slobbing. Please understand that a lot of it has to do with culture, upbringing, socialization, religious beliefs, etc. Many women are raised believing that “good girls” don’t suck dick. Yes, yes, I know it is hard to believe that way of thinking has permeated and sustained as far, wide, and long as it has, but it has. There are women who really don’t like it, won’t do it, and if you expect to get it from them, you’re misguided. Men have contributed to this feeling though, so part of this is your fault. See my post on Fearing The Freak.

So what then? What does a man do when he finds an otherwise great woman who won’t regularly suck his dick? Some men cheat and get head from other women. Some men try to coax their women into it any chance they can get. Some men become resentful and turn to frequent masturbation to porno vids of women slobbing knob, lamenting their plight in life. Some men leave the woman and find someone who is just as great AND slobs knob. I’m sure there are other responses as well.

I don’t advocate cheating.  Now, maybe your partner is open to being “open” and will let you play with other people to satisfy desires he/she is unwilling to fulfill. In that case, you may have hit the jackpot, but honestly… don’t most of us want it all in one person? But I believe that more often than not, men who are not getting slobbed at “home” are getting slobbed elsewhere.

Maybe I’m too narrowly focused to accept that men are OK being in a relationship without getting their dicks sucked. Maybe I’m just unable to see the bigger picture. It is just not registering with me LOL

School me! Tell me something different!!! Someone give me proof, show me the receipts!!

I had a conversation recently with a man and it broke my heart, just hearing how women have neglected him in what I consider some of the most basic girlfriend responsibilities. Like, I really felt his pain and it was more so because the way he’s experienced relationships and sex have been so limited that he’s come to expect that and expect that he’ll have to suppress his sexual urges for selfish women. I’ve tried to convince him it isn’t always like that, that there are women who take pleasure in pleasing men in this way, but I’m not sure he truly believes me. It’s kinda sad.

So answer these questions for me:

Are you a man who has been perfectly happy in a relationship where you didn’t get your dick sucked regularly or at all?

Are you a man who wasn’t getting hit off and it is the reason you left or cheated?

For the ladies, do you suck dick regularly or do you save it for special occasions? Elaborate.

All: Is it selfish for women to NOT perform oral sex on men? Does your answer change if the man isn’t reciprocating?

Do you think not getting your dick sucked is a reasonable excuse for cheating?

Let’s talk!!



32 thoughts on “Special Occasion Slobbing”

  1. I have been in a committed relationship for almost 5 years. My man is a scorpio and I’m a Libra. Literally born 4 days apart in the same year. With that said our sex game is ON POINT! I slob his knob every chance I get. When my ‘aunt’ visits this is when he gets it the most. If I dnt someone else will. *Shrugs*

  2. wow. i feel like women who feel this way may as well not do it at all if they’re gonna be particular abt it. either that or become open to the idea of knob slobbing anytime.
    … my only complaint is that i don’t get to do it more often.


  3. Every couple is different and every man is different. Not all men enjoy it, not all men want it all the time and many men are just happy to have it happen at any time without any demand as to how often. Some women love to do it, some hate to do it, others like me literally throw up when we try due to a hyper active gag reflex. Its not like some universal truth or ability.

    Personally i find this attitude about men to be pretty insulting to them. The idea that all men are so pathetic and shallow that if their woman wont go down on them constantly they’ll just cheat or do other things to get it is insulting. I know my husband would flip out on someone if they insinuated that just because i dont go down all the time means he should want to screw around on me like hes some brainless sex crazed animal. I have more respect in my mans integrity and his love for me than to believe that.

    1. Well, I admitted that I find it hard to believe and asked for people to teach me, show examples of men who are different. You just did. Thank you 🙂

      I’m sorry you feel it is insulting. I didn’t mean to insult men. I still find it hard to believe that men who don’t want their dicks suck are anything more than a minute blip of a minority in the grand scheme of things. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist, and I will edit the post to acknowledge they do 🙂

      Clearly, as this is a site called KNOB-SLOBBING FEMINISM, the ideas are based around this idea of women sucking dick. I definitely understand all of the exceptions to the rules. I said, in THIS post, that many women were raised different or have whatever reasons for not doing it. Does it boggle my mind? YES!! Does it mean I can’t accept it for what it is? Not at all.

      I may not get it, but, it isnt any man I’m dealing with so I guess it isnt for me to get.

      Thanks for responding,

      1. 🙂
        I have 5 brothers, 8 brother in laws, 3 nephews and 2 sons. I’ve noticed over the years that there seems to be a largely held belief that all men are sex controlled morons that just follow their dick blindly no matter who it hurts or if they’re in a relationship or not. The idea doesnt insult me so much as saddens me. I honestly dont know a single man that finds getting head to be so important that they would cheat on the woman they love to get it. The idea is abhorrent to them.

        So i’ve got lots of examples lol.

  4. Yeah…ummmm…I don’t get that special occasion thing either. But I probably rival Ms. Feminista on the freakiness scale, so I can’t really talk. That said, I welcome all opportunities to go down on my man, lol. But I recognize, I’m not the norm when it comes to that…but I think women should recognize that sex is generally a very important thing to MOST men in relationships. I have guys that I am cool with and they have explained to me that no matter how much they love a woman, it can be VERY stressful if they are sexually mismatched. I don’t believe that means a man is shallow for sex being extremely important, I simply believe that most men are wired that way.

    1. Oh i agree that sex is important, what i dont agree with is the idea that if all men dont get constant or regular head from their woman that they’re all so shallow and sex controlled that they’ll just start cheating and finding other ways to get it. Just the idea of it is very degrading to men and shows in my opinion that the person saying it thinks quite lowly of men in general.

      1. I don’t think all men are going to cheat. My response to her was off the cuff, not very deep.

        Do I think a lot of men DO cheat to get their dicks sucked? Yes. I know MANY men over the years who have done just that. I think it stirs up insecurity in women when I say that, but it is real. What woman wants to consider that her man might be out there getting his dick sucked elsewhere? None. It makes her feel inadequate.

        No 100% of men aren’t doing that.

        But enough are that we can’t ignore it.

        Men cheat mostly to fulfill physical needs
        Women cheat mostly to fulfill emotional needs

        Lets be real about this.

    2. I think sex is important to a lot of men AND women. Sexual compatibility, IMO, is extremely important because without sex, you’re basically just friends. LOL
      So being in a “relationship” with someone who doesn’t satisfy you sexually, IMO, is a waste. You’re living life unfulfilled and I believe it leads to resentment.

  5. Count me in as someone who could either take it or leave it to tell you the truth. In fact, I’ve been in relationships where the woman was somewhat disappointed that she didn’t get the reaction she was used to when she put her H-game on (H as in Hoover)

      1. Eh, not necessarily on this open forum. I will say though, that seeing a woman doing the slobbing does do something for me. I don’t know if its the angle or whatnot, or when she’s looking dead at me while doing it…

  6. I agree that sexual compatibility is extremely important in a committed relationship, especially in marriage. If you are going to be with that person for the rest of your life, you must make sure that you are on the same page sexually. That being said, if a man enjoys oral sex and that’s your man, you need to enjoy giving it b/c if not, that will be a huge gap in the sexual relationship that could tear it apart. Will he cheat? Not necessarily. Cheating is more about a bad sex life; it’s about, like FJ said, cowardice and deceit. But will he be happy? Probably not. And that’s the important part. You most likely cannot have a happy, healthy relationship without the sexual satisfaction of both partners. And if it’s true that the majority of men enjoy receiving oral sex (I admit that I’ve never come across a man that could “take it or leave it” or even felt 50/50 about it, but of course they must exist), then women need to catch up on enjoying giving it. On the same note, men should make more of an effort to please women sexually, if women have good ideas about exactly what they want.

  7. I was married and received oral regularly. The frequency was never an issue. However, her skills were lackluster and watching grass grow was more exciting. I just found that she didn’t have the passion and desire to really get into it. I wish I could pinpoint what it was. I never had issues with ‘teaching’ women in the past. She was just wack. Other than that, sex was good. She liked facials, S&M, anal, would do it anywhere, anytime, make movies, whatever you deem freaky. I lived with the lack of the true oral attention I had received in my 15 yrs being sexually active with no probs. Never cheated during the marriage. We were together for 7 yrs.

    We divorced for reasons other than sex. Just irreconcilable differences. But best believe that the first thing I sought was my old faithfuls from years back who I called ‘brain surgeons’. I probably spent the next 5 yrs not even caring about intercourse much. Just received a lotta drive-by head from female friends to scratch the itch so to speak.

    But because I dealt with an abundance of women during that time frame, receiving ‘basic’ head itself isn’t enough anymore. If a woman swallows, that’s cool. If she likes facials, that’s even better. But I’ve become addicted to ejaculating in women’s mouths & having them gargle or show my cum in their mouths. When giving facials, I like for women to ask for it or playfully ask for me not to cum in their face. Then once I do ejaculate, I like to take my dick and slide the cum (like a squeegee) from wherever it is on their faces into their open mouth. To top that off, taking vids & pics over the years has sort of become a hobby. So many women are open to cheesing with a mouth full of dick or face full of cum. My level of receiving these oral highs has come from dealing with women who desire it this way. Now it’s hard to detox and deal with a woman who’s head skills would be top notch for most cats. I gotta good lady now & yes she freaky. But comparing it to a crackhead who needs a fix, I’ve had best Columbian cocaine and now that’s all I can get high from. However, I value the relationship more than I do my oral addictions. But best believe over time I’m trying to get her to the level that I truly desire.

  8. I refuse to buy into the urban legend that there is a man out there who does not like to have his dick sucked. As I said to Feminista on Twitter…I know men who won’t allow their mate to do it, because of a madonna/whore complex, but that doesn’t mean they do not LIKE it – it means that for their relationship they are willing to go without it. There is a big difference in there for me. I would like to meet the unicorn…I mean man…who does not like his knob slobbed. He is purely magical and I want him to give me some lottery numbers.

    That being said…

    Oral sex is not a ‘treat’ or a ‘reward’ or Grandmom’s roll recipe on Thanksgiving. It is not something you should be pulling out once a quarter like sales figures.

    Seriously ladies?

    Oral sex should be a regular part of your sex life with your partner. What if HE said…well gee dear we can fuck every night but you can only have an orgasm on your birthday, our anniversary, and Valentine’s day.

    1. “Oral sex should be a regular part of your sex life with your partner” I’ll add IF that is what your partner wants. We have to learn our partners and go with it. If your man doesnt like having his dick sucked, this probably isnt the site for you lol


  9. I need a clean bill of health first. once SO provided me with one from his physician, we’ve shared with each other freely and frequently. I’d be interested to see what a conversation would look like between yourself (author) and women who aren’t opposed to performing fellatio, but who demand condom use and a clean bill of health. I’ve had men essentially disappear when I ask them to get checked before our first kiss. I’ve seen posts about oral sex (by you, Sister Toldja, others) yet none mention what measures one takes to ensure they don’t end up with Herpes in their throat

    1. Believe it or not, there is a post in the pipeline about that. And it is unfortunate that men balk when women request condom use for oral. People don’t understand that STDs can be transmitted with oral-genital contact and its ignorant!

      I guess I post with the assumption that my readers are educated abt sexual health and have taken necessary measures to enjoy sexual safety. But, it is coming and I thank you for raising that great point!


      1. I’ll have to go through your archives! thanks. w/respect to assumptions about your readers, as long as herpes keeps spreading and unexpected pregnancies keep happening, I think it never hurts to throw in a safe-sex plug, lol

        1. In the pipeline, meaning it’s coming up lol
          I’m working on something with a health educator friend of mine. Want to give the right information.

  10. Are you a man who has been perfectly happy in a relationship where you didn’t get your dick sucked regularly or at all?
    yes but i was in high school when it happened … lol. I was raised in an area where having sex at an early age was uncommon but giving or receiving oral sex was very rare. It wasn’t until when I joined the army that I was presented with a different outlook on the situation and decided change my view point.

    Are you a man who wasn’t getting hit off and it is the reason you left or cheated?
    Ohh I Cheated my ass off ….. Even though I am not a HUGE head fan I am a fan of sex and letting go of all hang ups and a female not willing to even try something new is someone i am not intersted in

    For the ladies, do you suck dick regularly or do you save it for special occasions? Elaborate.

    All: Is it selfish for women to NOT perform oral sex on men? Does your answer change if the man isn’t reciprocating?
    Now that goes on a case by case basis ….. I enjoy eating pussy so of course I feel like I wanna to get mine in return, but if a dude isn’t going to lick the sweet spot you shouldn’t expect her to slob your knob.

    Do you think not getting your dick sucked is a reasonable excuse for cheating?
    NO, but not being sexually satisfied is. Esp. if you have an open forum with your partner and express she need to ” TIGHTEN UP”

  11. Thing is sexual comparability is very important in any long term relationship. You can have a million brothers who say it isn’t important to them and it’s abhorrent but when it comes down too it….and the sex isn’t good then you will see another face rear it’s ugly head.

    “knob slobbing” is only a small symptom of the bigger “sexless marriage” problem.

  12. I have been here, living, for a min. I have never met, heard talk of, a man who did not like getting head. Yes, some may say that shyt in front of ‘women’. But when we talk, head is very important. Now, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful… but if you live in a world where you ‘believe’ your man is alright with you NOT giving him head, and he never told you that. Or that you can give him head 4x’z a year or some other such fukkery…stop! You are living AND projecting an illusion. And the key is again ‘if he has not told you’. Listen even then… what would motivate him to lie to you about his wanting, needing head? Children, job, church, shy, not wanting beef?
    And just think… if a woman friend he really respected and maybe had a crush on. Got him somewhere and out of the blue said to him,
    ” I know your situation, your marriage and all… but please I just want to suck your dick once”. wuh? You think, you not sucking… and he’s gonna push her away. If he feels he can get that dicked sucked and no way he will get busted… she will have a mouth full of dick. trust me. If a man needs, wants, would like his woman to give him head and she does not… to label him shallow or some other tripe… is bullshyt also. I mean what would you not deem shallow if he cheated on his wife because she did’nt have vaginal sex? Anal sex? Did’nt help keep house clean, did’nt help cook. Did’nt kiss? And remember we have been taught a bunch of lies. Thanx, KSF great place!

  13. I am a reformed head-denying, cunnilingus connoisseur. I figured it was demeaning in some weird, retributional-type of way.You hear about the fellas in the locker room lambasting the gals who gave the favor of flavor to them. It was demeaning, harsh, and, furthermore, nothing empowering to those not getting that reciprocal treatment. In college, when I decided to break the virgin code, I didn’t want any woman to do that. Upon watching the flicks and hearing the idiots in the locker room bragging, I was further disgusted and decided, even in marriage, I would deny my wife fellating the big homie. Watching porn killed the afromantic parts of my desires. I was more a person to dedicate pleasing my partner. Key thing I always go back to is a convo with a friend that constantly said, (to make a rebuttal to my denial of the lady twisting my twig) “Don’t say what ya won’t do!” About three years or so later, I was face down, teasing the lily, and, agree coaxing, and several hours past midnight, I turned in a sexual performance as if I was getting initiated. I was pinned down by my arms, and basically yanked by her jaw strength. Word. I was mixed, seeing that we damn near ran the gambit that night on sexual activities. It felt fucking nice, but I still felt that in some way it was demeaning. My ex of three years past was so Cancerian on my Aquarian try-once mode, that she just made me abandon my “no-head reception” policy. Now, I don’t ask for it, but it’s probably several guys who deny it out of fear of disrespecting or belittling their partner, or maybe cause they just like the nani so much, they could care less. Me? Shit…will not deny this shit EVAAAAAAR again.

  14. No, I am not a man who who enjoyed being in a relationship where I didn’t receive oral. Not receiving oral has been a reason for cheating. It did cause the breakup of my marraige. I do believe it is selfish not to have it done with gusto and passion. If you are going to do it, do it right. And if you are not getting it, it’s not a reason to withhold. I am looking for a woman who enjoys giving HEAD as MUCH as I love to do it. No, not a reason for cheating. If you are not getting it, and it’s important, LEAVE. What happens though, is that you learn that all the women that love to suck dick are taken, and their respective partners ain’t sharing them, so you choose between the evils: stay and be with my kids, keep my home, keep my income to self, just get the dick sucking on the side from Sally down the street, or lose my kids, my home, my income to child support, and get the same treatment from the next gal. It’s a business decision, with a cost benefits analysis thrown in. You just hope Sally’s husband doesn’t find out.

  15. i think it’s unreasonable to think that all your sexual needs will be met by one person for a lifetime, regardless of what relationship model you subscribe.

  16. Can I add to your elusive list of men who don’t care for the knob slobbing those with control issues? Once dated a guy who finally explained to me that he felt out of control during oral, and the pleasure wasn’t worth dealing with that…

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